Analogy of God and me

I once asked God.

"When is my turn to be happy?"

I had waited for such a long time. but then, I lost my patience.

I got angry to God. I stopped praying. I ignored God completely because I thought He never existed. Even if He existed, He was just there, sitting and staring at me from heaven, and doing nothing.

But it turns out I am the one who is impatient.

I asked God too much, without even trying to be happy.

I whined to much. I was not grateful for all that I had.

I recently had a problem, which you all can guess.

At first, I was very disappointed to God. Why should He put me in the situation like this?

Why should be me?

Why couldn't He give me what I want?

But then, when I surrendered everything to God. I let Him do whatever He thought the best for me... 

I changed my perspective of God and life.

I imagine a simple scenario that depicts the relationship of God and me.

In my imagination, I am about to learn how to ride a bike. He lets me fall. He lets me be hurt. But I get angry to Him. "Why do You let me fall? Why don't you catch me so I don't need to be injured like this? It hurts the hell out of me! You see how much blood coming from my knees?" and somehow I stop trying.

But something that I do not realize is, God is always following me from behind. He lets me fall because He wants me to be able to handle yourself when you fall from the bike and he wants me to be able to ride the bike. He knows that the wound won't kill me, so He lets it happen. But still, God is watching me from behind, watch over me, so when I fall, He is there to help me out, to get up, and to heal my wound sooooo fast. I know he won't let me be injured so bad, like breaking my leg or something.

And when I am able to ride the bike, I will smile and turn my head back and say "THANK YOU GOD. I CAN RIDE THIS BIKE!"

And the next couple days, He will come and bring you a motorcycle. and the cycle will happen again.

So... what I am trying to tell you is, when you feel God is not with you, look up. He is there, writing your stories and also watching out from above. 

What am I feeling now after the breakup (well, finally I reveal my problem)?

I am relieved.

I am happy.

And I believe this is the happiness I asked from God. 

I might not be together with him anymore.

I lost one best boyfriend who always accompanied me, helped me, etc etc.

But this is the happiness I am always looking for.

Thank you God.

I love you so much much much much. :)