I am at the moment sitting in front of my workstation, in my small office, doing nothing, while waiting for jobs to be given. But it seems like nothing in a short moment is worth to do. So, I decide to just blog.

I am a mess.
I hate myself.
Not that I could recall, I never hate myself this much.
Pardon me, hey dear readers who do not like gloomy post, just press "close" at the top right hand side of your screen.

I am feeling emptiness.
It's like there is a big chunk drops to my head and at the same time, there is a big hole gnawed me from the inside.
The pain is just, indescribable.

You may run away from the things you hate.
You may hide from the things you don't want to see.
You may pretend from the things you don't want to feel.
But, how if it is yourself who you hate, who you don't want to see, who you don't want to feel?
How could you run away? How could you hide? How could you pretend?

Kenyang Bego in Chinese New Year!

One of my friends, Christofel, said that my blog was such a mixture of all feelings and it was like roller-coaster. It turns up and down. Well, yeah. That is why I blog because blog was created to be a place where I can share all my feelings, right?

ANYWAY.

Recently, my Facebook page is dominated with red color. Why? Because it is CHINESE NEW YEAR baby!
I didn't regret my decision of staying back here because my CNY was awesome!
Even though I didn't celebrate it with my family, I was having fun with my friends here. :)

It started on Saturday night. Erick, Jetink, Dedek, and me went to church and then had dinner in Jalan Alor. I ate a lot that night. A portion of pork burger and kwetiao were enough to satisfy me. Having dinner in Jalan Alor was kinda a temptation for me. The restaurants there offered lots of yummy food. How can it not be temptation for such a any-food-eater like me?

And the street itself was damn crowded, with lots of Chinese people, loud music, fire works, and Barongsai (or Lion Dance). I loveeee the fireworks. This time, I felt pretty close enough with the fireworks, even I could feel the fire hit my cheeks. But it was such a blast. I was like a little kid who excited much seeing fireworks.

And the celebration continued in the next day.
Sandra and Sylfester joined us after work for dinner. Since we didn't make any reservations in Chinese Restaurant, so we went to Rasta @ TTDI. This was just usual dinner (even though it was CNY night) with friends.

After dinner, we went home and had a sleep-over in Sylfester's house.
*well, I suddenly feel I need to share this in Indonesia :p*
Berhubung cowok-cowok (baca: Erick & Syl) pengen olah raga dulu sebelom kongkow, mereka main pingpong di LV. Gue, yang notabene buta soal olahraga, jadinya cuma mentok ngerumpi sama Jetink sambil ngambilin bola pingpong mereka.

Entah kenapa, unit Syl selalu jadi tempat ternyaman buat ngumpul-ngumpul. Apalagi di kamar Syl. And there you go, kita nonton The Green Mile di kamar Syl and I ended up being scolded by my friends. Menurut gue filmnya touchy dan bagus banget, tapi berhubung emang endingnya agak sedih dan menurut mereka tidak seharusnya di malam CNY mereka nangis, jadilah gw kena omel. Tapi gue puas, 3 jam nonton film yang berbobot, walaupun harus nangis dikit-dikit :p

Dan kebiasaan kalo sleepover di tempat Syl adalah, habis capek nonton, kita masak-masak. Secara Syl cuma punya kentang goreng (supply dari kantor gue) dan lotus leaf bun, jadilah kita makan makanan yang ada. Sambil makan, kita karaokean dan ngerumpi sampe nggak sadar waktu uda nunjukin jam setengah 7 pagi. Ck. Kamar Syl abis itu disulap jadi tempat penampungan anak-anak ilang. Gue & Sandra tidur dempet-dempetan di kasur Syl, sedangkan si Tuan Rumah & Erick harus rela tidur di lantai. :p Jetink mengungsi ke kamar Topel soalnya dia nggak tahan dingin dan Dedek balik ke kamar dia.

As expected, we all woke up at around 12 in the afternoon. Kelaparan (dan encok buat yang cowok-cowok). Setelah siap-siap, kita langsung cabs ke Pyramid, dimana ada harapan restoran masih buka. Sunway was damn quiet man. Hampir semua toko tutup. Akhirnya, setelah Erick maksa mau beli Prosperity Burger yang katanya adanya setaun sekali, kita memutuskan untuk makan McD. Pathetic ya. Chinese New Year mestinya dihabiskan dengan mengunyah makanan Chinese, bukan fast food. Tapi mau gimana dong. Nggak banyak pilihan sih.

Time seemed fly so fast (ya iyalah, lu pikir aja lu bangun jam berapa Nad =.="), tiba-tiba aja kita udah harus siap-siap pergi ke Seoul Garden di One Utama. Dan mendadak semua jadi warna merah. Hampir semua orang Chinese yang gw temui hari itu pake baju warna merah, including me.

Gue beneran kenyang bego hari itu. Kenyang bego disini means kenyang sampe napas aja susah. Tapi lumayan lah, walaupun menurut gw pilihan dagingnya nggak banyak banget (jadi nggak worth it sama harganya), tapi rasanya OK banget.

Gue sampe berpikir nggak lagi deh makan sampe kenyang bego (at least sampe besok pagi), tapi ternyata, lagi-lagi gw gagal. Pulang dari Seoul Garden, kita kongkow lagi di rumah Syl dan nonton Johnny English: Reborn. Kali ini gue nggak dibolehin milih film karena menurut mereka film gw dark and twisty dan nggak cocok buat ditonton di malam CNY.

Gue pikir, begitu kelar nonton, kita tidur, secara udah capek juga. Tapi ternyata nggak. Instead of sleeping, we cooked 5 bungkus of Indomie dan ngemilin bacon yang dibawa Erick. Heran? Yeah me too. Gue hari itu beneran kenyang bego, sebego-begonya. Sampe tidur pun dengan perut agak melilit gara-gara kekenyangan. Ck.

And we woke up the next day at 2 pm. Worst than the previous day. Rencana awal kita mau ice-skating, tapi liat aja. Bangun aja jam 2, belom ngulet-ngulet, belom siap-siap mandi dkk, belom makan siang. Jadilah gagal rencana ice-skating kita. Sore hari kita dihabiskan dengan nonton film Indo yang bener-bener nggak mutu (selama nonton, entah berapa kali komen negatif keluar dari mulut gue) dan makan siang delivery dari Aldy.

Around 5 pm, we decided to go to Pyramid, shopping for our (late) dinner. Erick si koki rencananya mau masak masakan andalan dia Black Pepper Sauce. dan gw cuma iseng-iseng bikin sushi (just like last CNY :)).

~sushi~

~black pepper pork~

~entah apa namanya sayuran~

Dan lagi-lagi gue kenyang bego.
Apalagi ditambah Choco Banana buatan Syl yang penuh fattening. Bayangin aja, udah eskrim, dikasih lelehan coklat, ditambah whip cream. Apa nggak bikin tumpukan lemak di perut numbuh?!

Syl's Choco Banana officially ended my CNY holiday. Beraaat banget rasanya kalo inget holiday is over dan harus mikir besok paginya gue harus bangun pagi buat kerja. Tsh. Why does time go faster when it comes to holiday?

Setelah dipikir-pikir,gila juga gue, CNY dipenuhi massive food. Nggak heran celana gw sekarang pada sempit dan pipi gue membengkak. Salah siapa? Ck. Tapi puas kok. Gue sempet takut CNY kali ini bakal garing, karena cuma ada 6 orang disini. But it turns out I was totally wrong. My CNY this year was awesome! :)

~credit goes to Erick Sulistya~

NEW YEAR!

Wow, see how busy I have been these days!
Apparently too many things need to be told these days, but instead of writing them down, I chose to live them up.
Saying "see you again", meeting new people, going around and having fun, working, and meeting old pals have been fulfilling my days recently. As I told you in the previous post, David already went back to Indonesia, followed by Epi, Mei, Yoan, and finally Topel. Well, I was trying to convince myself that I would definitely meet them again in the next couple months. :)

~Epi and Mei's farewell with Lia and Gibon~

~Yoan and Topel's farewell with Syl and Ley~

And yeah, I'm kinda busy in the office now, working on the QC, Internal and External audit, and the development of cassava fries. Days in the office are full of filling up parameter checks, doing series of peeling-cutting-steaming-and-frying cassava fries, and checking up on company's documents. Tiring, but many new things I've learnt. :)

My new year's eve is a blast. I spent the night with Ley, Lia, Jetink, Novita, Syl, and Erick. I thank God for the night. We laughed, we drank, we played. Ah, such an unforgettable new year's eve :)

~Syl, Erick, Ley, me, Lia, Dedek, & Jetink~

Let me review this whole year.
2011.
Many things have changed.
Many things have been learnt.
Many things have gone.
Many things have come.

The first six months were the hardest. I am a person who gets easily broken when it comes to love. And to be honest, the first six months of 2011 were hard for me because yeah, I had problems with my (ex) bf.
The climax was on July. We broke up. But I believe (and prove it myself) that brought me to a better life.
After the break-up, I enjoyed myself more with my friends. As the proverb says "Sometimes you have to let good things fall apart, so better things can fall together". I prove that myself.
Being single is not as bad as I thought before. You have more time for enjoying time with friends and your own self.
Moreover, I've made more friends, I've traveled to good places, and I've enjoyed my time more.

So yeah, I can proudly say, 2011 finally replaces 2009 as my favorite year!

So, what are next year's resolutions?
One, I really want to be able to control my emotions. any kind of emotions. anger, sadness, jealousy, and other negative thoughts.
Two, I want to try using contact lenses! Gosh, sometimes I hate my rapid reflection.
Three, I want to control my feelings. I don't want to fall for wrong person anymore. That fuckin' hurts and I don't want to get hurt anymore!
Forth, GRADUATE FROM MONASH!

Can I achieve all resolutions? Let's see then! :)
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Credit goes to Sylfester Arian Gunawan