I am at the moment sitting in front of my workstation, in my small office, doing nothing, while waiting for jobs to be given. But it seems like nothing in a short moment is worth to do. So, I decide to just blog.

I am a mess.
I hate myself.
Not that I could recall, I never hate myself this much.
Pardon me, hey dear readers who do not like gloomy post, just press "close" at the top right hand side of your screen.

I am feeling emptiness.
It's like there is a big chunk drops to my head and at the same time, there is a big hole gnawed me from the inside.
The pain is just, indescribable.

You may run away from the things you hate.
You may hide from the things you don't want to see.
You may pretend from the things you don't want to feel.
But, how if it is yourself who you hate, who you don't want to see, who you don't want to feel?
How could you run away? How could you hide? How could you pretend?