Detached much?

For the start, pardon my galau-ness.

In a week, me, Jetink, Ley, Stella, Topel, David, Syl, and Erick will be going to Perhentian and Redang Islands! This is like a dream come true, traveling with your best buddies to a place that is almost impossible to go to. Well, I thought it was impossible at first, because it seemed many obstacles had stood in our way.

And while waiting for 22nd of February, I decided to go home, seeing my parents and brother.
Everything is different here. The longer I stay abroad, the less comfortable I am in my own home. How pathetic is it? I am trying my best to feel homey, but that seems to be the hardest thing to do. I keep counting down the days I'll be going back to Malaysia. I keep missing my room there. I keep texting my friends there, just to let my hunger of their existences be fulfilled. Am I that bad?

I'm not sure I ever wrote down about my "detachment disorder" here. But I think, from the posts I wrote, you all can conclude that I am a person who easily attach yet hard to detach. I was once in a hard situation of detachment, somewhere around 2009-2010. I used to be really close with my girls (RJ, AN, MS, SL, SKD, MC), NR, AW, TM, and SR. No need to know who they are, but they really meant a lot to me. They colored my life. But as the time went on, people have grown apart. Each one of us started to find another comfort zone and here we are, being almost strangers to each other. To be honest, even dinner was like an "important" eve, where we needed to make an appointment and think of a conversation.

I had a hard time understanding this situation. Understanding that people grow apart and friends do not stay forever. I don't like being a "grasshopper", jumping from one group to another. Once I am comfortable in one group, I have a tendency of being attached so much. But eventually, I made through this. After all efforts (I did not exaggerate, but I did put lots of efforts), I finally could accept this.

But once again, I am now trapped in the same situation. Again, I am trapped in one zone that comforts me much enough that I even started to miss them right after the plane has landed. Every day, in own home, I've been counting the days down till I get back to Malaysia. Am I that "rebel"? Lia told me, I need to enjoy in everywhere I am. But that is fuckin' hard, man.

I can't imagine, in the next 5 months, I'll be graduating from Monash. That means, I need to go back home, say goodbye to my friends, my sanctuary, my Sunway. I really can't imagine it. I wish time walked much slower. I don't want to leave Malaysia. :( I don't want to leave my friends :( :(